


The Demise of the Memeillians

by rubbleinthesunshine



Category: Cyranek (YouTube)
Genre: Lotsa memes, medieval era, mike wasowski life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7035649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubbleinthesunshine/pseuds/rubbleinthesunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>King Cyranek keeps attempting to kill off his people. Will Mike Wasowski, Shrek, Sanik, and Orange Lad get to the bottom of this madness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write a fanfiction about the spiciest memer, the creamiest YouTuber, Cyranek. And by now, he is very deserving of one.
> 
> (Originally I just thought this out in my head but then I thought, "WHY THE HELL NOT?!")

Chapter 1: Fallen Kingdom

Many years ago, even before this story takes place, there was a great King. He ruled many lands, and kept his people safe from harm. His armies were outstandingly strong and determined, not letting anyone defeat them. It was truly a peaceful and safe place to live.

The king's name was Stale Memes. He truly cared for his kingdom, and wouldn't let anyone take away his rule. His wife, Minion Memes, was very concerned for him. The man was too focused on keeping his land safe than anything else. But Queen Minion knew what would happen soon. And the King knew, too.

Soon enough, the Queen had to tell the King that he had come. The frog of all memes to come. The one who had begun it all. Pepe the Frog.

And he wasn't the only one there. With him, he had a small but very strong army. Definitely stronger than a thousand of Stale's soldiers. The Spicy Memes.

When they arrived, the King knew. His time of rule was over. He handed the crown to Pepe, and headed out with a handful of his people to search for new land.

But that didn't burn the passion of the Stale Memeillians. They still would fight back one day. Just not today.

The Spicy Memeillians still rule the land to this day, headed by King Cyranek. Yet, the Stales still haven't gotten their revenge.

 I guess we'll just have to keep our guard up until then.

"The end," Mike said, closing the book. He looked over at the amused King sitting on his throne in front of him.

"Wow! This book gets me every time! It's just so suspenseful!" Cyranek laughed, reminding Mike of CDI King of Hyrule.

Mike sighed. "Your majesty, I've read you this book every single night for the past five years. Maybe it's time to pick up a new novel?"

The king chuckled. "Nonsense, now read it to me again." Cyranek put his chin on his hands and grinned like a small child.

Mike sighed in annoyance and flipped back to the first page...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orange Lad gets Cyranek some Mountain Dew. But little did he know that this trip to the kitchen would change his life forever?

"Sir? Would you like a cup of Mountain Dew?" Orange Lad asks, holding up a tray of tea cups and plates.

King Cyranek stuffs another Dorito into his mouth. "Ayyyyyyyyy... Yep." He swats his hand and shoos his butler away.

Orange Lad goes to the kitchen, grabs three Mountain Dews, and places them on the tray. Then he pours the Mountain Dews into a teapot and throws away the aluminum canister.

As he walked down the hall back to where his liege was, he thought about his life. He woke up, he was triggered. He ate his breakfast, he was triggered. He went to clean, he was triggered. So on and so forth.

Everyday was like a meme quest, searching for the inner Orange Lad. A shattering sound broke him from his thoughts.

"What are you THINKING?!" A familiar crackly voice yelled, making Orange Lad's invisible ears ring.

All the butler could manage was, "Whaaaa?"

"Don't you KNOW the King's on a strict diet? That means no Doritos or Mountain Dew!" Mike ordered.

Orange Lad was still taken aback that the caretaker had just knocked over all the drinks so suddenly. It seemed like his face was stuck in that shocked position. Forever.

Mike kept ranting on and on about diets, diabetes, how to prevent eating habits, all sorts of niznaz. Orange Lad was just trying to figure out how to get his face back to normal. After a while of attempting, and sick of Mike's screeching nerd voice, he shrugged it off and kept walking.

Orange Lad stopped in and told King Cyranek to remember his diet. Cyranek immediately hid the bag of Doritos.

Orange Lad went back to his place and plopped onto the bed. 

"I'm triggered," he told himself, before falling asleep with his eyes stuck wide open.


	3. Sanik of the Opera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanik thinks he is the best singer ever and wants to keep it a secret. Then he decides to tell his best friend, Orange Lad.

Chapter 4: Sanik of the Opera

Sanik began to opera sing in his room. The room was covered in sound proof tiles, so nobody could hear his beautiful voice until he became famous. Sanik loved his voice so much, he would spend hours a day singing in the mirror. Despite his birth defect, he at least had one talent.

One day, Sanik couldn't hide it anymore. He had to sing in front of someone other than himself, someone he could trust keeping his secret talent a secret. So he rung up his best friend, colleague, chum, bro, pal, and buddy Orange Lad.

"Hello?" The Orange friend answered from the other side of the line.

"Can you come to my room, I need to tell you a secret," he said, flicking the chord.

"Alright, be right over," Orange said, before hanging up.

Sanik put down the phone. He was one hundred percent confident in his ability of singing. Or so he thought.

Orange Lad came into his room and sat on a chair.

"Whatcha need me for?" he asked, eyes wide open. He was already completely awestruck, Sanik thought.

Before Orange Lad got an answer, Sanik broke into song.

"Turn around Tails, it'd be a crime,

If I had to go back on that chili dog you made for me

So don't step over that line

Or else you're gonna have a fast time

But kids like you are too slow in general

And guys like me need the power of the Chaos Emeralds

Let's go to the Green Hill Zone

Let's go or you'll be flying alone

Go ahead and try to beat me if you're able

Don't you know that I'm inexplicably inflatable?

I can tell you're getting sick of all these trials

But I think you're just mad your name's Miles

You're not gonna fix what we made together

Swaga will keep making games forever

You can break us apart but we'll come back cooler

Introducing my new friend Jeffrey the Cougar

My games are way past cool way past cool way past cool

Cause I'm faster than—" Sanik was cut off in his serenade.

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Orange Lad yelled in distress, "God, I think my ears are bleeding. Please never sing again." Sanik frowned.

"B-but I thought I was a good—" Sanik whined.

"Why don't you try and be a runner like your dad?" Orange suggested. Sanik started to cry.

"Y-yeah, maybe that's a good idea," he admitted, wiping away a tear.

Orange Lad placed a hand on Sanik's shoulder. "Look buddy, I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you to get that far into the singing business only to be rejected."

Sanik smiled. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for being honest buddy. Really."

Orange Lad left Sanik to begin his new life ambition. He started to jog around the castle.


	4. Shrek Breaks the X Box and Almost Gets Beheaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shrek is in a heap of trouble. Maybe he shouldn't have filled in for Mike.

Chapter 5: Shrek Breaks the X Box and Almost Gets Beheaded

Today, Shrek decided to help Mike in his job as caretaker by letting Mike take the day off. Shrek stayed inside the rooms wherever the king went, and barked orders at Orange Butler whenever King Cyranek needed something.

At 4:20, Cyranek decided to go to his favorite room in the castle: his lounge room. So he took the X Box controller out, and put in his favorite copy of Sonic '06.

"Press the power button, ay?" Cyranek asked, pointing to the X Box. Shrek obliged and pressed the power button.

Cyranek played and played for what seemed like ten minutes, until he got to the loading screen. After ten hours of waiting and staring at that black screen, Shrek couldn't take it anymore.

"My liege, I think this game isn't working right now. Would you like me to put in another game?" Shrek asked, now understanding how difficult his small green friend's job was now. The king sighed.

"It was just about to get to the good part," he whined, and Shrek secretively rolled his eyes at this, "but I guess I would like to play 'Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts.'"

Shrek nodded and took out the Banjo Kazooie game from its container off the shelf. The problem was, Shrek had no idea how to work an X Box, except for pressing the power button. So with his great ogre strength, he shoved the game into the X Box, but heard a loud cracking sound. The console started to smoke, and the TV went black.

"What the hell was that sound?" Cyranek asked as he turned around abruptly, and when he saw the X Box, he went insane.

"SHREK! I AM GOING TO KILLL YOU! YOU HEAR ME? YOU MURDERED MY CHILD! MY ONLY FRIEND! MY LIFE!" He screamed, pacing angrily towards the nose-picking ogre man. 

Just as Shrek thought he would actually be beheaded by the king at that second, his best friend came to the rescue. Mike stormed in and wrapped an arm comfortingly around the king.

"There, there... No need to worry. We can buy you a new X Box and new games, okay? Now go to bed and get some rest," Mike whispered comfortingly. Cyranek nodded, glared at Shrek, and made his way out the door.

"Thank you," Shrek mouthed to Mike, obvious enough for him to understand.

"No problem," Mike stated, picking up the broken pieces of the X Box. "And thank you for filling in for me today. Now, do you need a lesson on how to use an X Box?" He chuckled.

"That would be nice, thanks."


	5. The Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now is the day where the kingdom is finally starting to fall apart. And it just starts with a single death.

It was a peaceful day yet again in the Spicy Castle. But today, there was just something not right. Something... out of order.

The king had gone out somewhere, (surprisingly, since he never goes anywhere by himself) and the quadruple just lounged around together for the day. Sanik and Orange Lad were playing Call of Duty, Mike was reading his favorite romance novel, (Fifty Shades of Gay by Idubbz) and Shrek was eating Dorito powder.

The four hadn't noticed how quieter the castle would be without the king.

At least, their day was pretty peaceful until they got a letter delivered by CD-i Link the Mailman. "Oh boy! I'm so hungry I could eat an OCTOROK!" he yelled, before darting off towards the kitchen. 

"What's an Octorok?" Sanik asked, tilting his already askew head.

Shrek sighed heavily as Mike explained, "An Octorok is a Hyrulian creature that is named after the Earthling creature Octopus because of their similar appearance and adaptations. The Octorok will shoot rocks from their mouths out at their predators, damaging them mildly and hopefully scaring them away. The Octorok has very bad eyesight though, so it usually shoots in every direction possible. It will regenerate rocks in its stomach in order to shoot them."

The other three just awkwardly peered at each other.

"O...kay... What does the letter say?" Orange Lad asked, changing the subject. Mike opened up the envelope and started to read it.

'As you may or may not have heard, there has been a sudden assassination near the King's location. Please check in with the King as soon as possible to make sure he is okay. He should be near the market as of now.

-Dat Boi'

"This isn't good. We better head over and see what's wrong," Mike panicked after reading the dialogue.

They all followed him towards the market.

•••

As soon as they reached the small house near the market, they walked in to see a frog riding a unicycle and wearing a detective's cap sitting beside the king, who was being interviewed.

The frog looked up. "Ah, great you got my letter! The King seems to be hiding some information from me, so I was wondering if you'd be able to help."

Mike and Shrek exchanged glances. "Alright, but you might want to leave for a minute." Dat Boi nodded and left the house.

They looked over to the King. He had a huge smirk plastered across his face.

"I killed him. I killed Yee," Cyranek chuckled, knocking over a glass on the bedside table.

And they knew.

They knew this was a warning that their king has officially gone insane.


	6. Chapter 6: Sanik Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sanik dies lol

Rick Harrison was over the top   
right now. Someone stole his beloved lasaga, and he had to send his trusty steed, Chum Lee, to go fetch the criminal. 

Rick was one of the highest honored knights and was specially designated by King Cyranek a few years back. The people who worked beside him were Old Man and Rick's son, Big Hoss. 

"I ordered Chum Lee to grab his machete and kill the thief. No one gets away with stealing my beloved lasaga," Rick explained to Old Man, who wasn't paying attention. "Old Man?"

"Oh, sorry, sonny. I was just having flashbacks of the war. I remember back in the war when horses couldn't carry weapons, so we had to carry them ourselves."

There was an awkward silence.

-

Chum Lee charged full force, right towards the distorted hedgehog who was already chowing down on his freshly stolen lasaga, unable to noice the clomping of Chum Lee hooves. Just as he was about to take another bite, the overweight horse charged into Sanik, and pierced him through the stomach with the 33-inch machete.

"Yeowch!" Sanik yelled, his final word flying out of his mouth until he became a puddle of blue animal juice.

-

Mike, Shrek, and Orange Lad had just heard the news of Sanik's assassination, and when they got to the scene, they all shed a tear. King Cyranek was there too, but he just laughed and proclaimed, "Do not kill this horse. In fact, promote it to my personal Royal Steed."

The king then took out some weed and started smonking like a hyena. Everyone else just left, putting the king alone with his new horse.

He then did a backflip onto Chum Lee's back, which made the horse fall flat.

"Yeezuz Garfield, this horse needs to lose some fekin weight," he complained as he threw the fat grease-absorber onto a treadmill.

With this horse, Cyranek was unstoppable.


End file.
